I’m writing to apologize for my tone and words regarding marriage, opposed to being single. You remember that late evening in St. Lucia outside of the naughty, but yummy, food bar where we talked about marriage? I suppose I did most of the talking, specifically about it being overrated…. Oh ladies, how I was called to action after that!
Are you thinking what in the world is she talking about? I will tell you. As I walked away from you hand in hand with my husband, God yanked at my heart and specifically said, “how dare you speak so ill of a union I created. Out of all people here tonight, I expect you to understand the concept of marriage and promote the sanctity of it.” He proceeded to tell me to study, read, and pray about this topic until I truly understood God’s intentions and how we are to live in union with a man.
Dang it girls, I felt like such a jerk. More than that, I had to really do some gut work to discover why on earth I was so negative. Here is what I came up with….
- I’ve never witnessed a successful marriage as it grew.
- I had a failed marriage and it wasn’t because I was blinded and unsure of what I was getting into. I completely knew the man I was marrying but believed marriage would make him change and us better.
- I meet more unhappily married couples than I do happily and I tend to see one party sacrifice more than the other.
- I allowed myself to believe that it’s more work than joy to be married so what is the point of marriage.
- I am remarried and listen, you girls know my guy and how terrific he is but this guy changed a bit after marriage. Jokingly I tell him he is a fraud, okay maybe I said it during an argument. It may have sounded like this, “YOU ARE FRAUDULENT!” yikes, I really am working on my temper..
Because my thoughts are such, my words are worse…
So, I gave the devil the finger, not flipping him off, the pointed finger.
- I spoke out loud, with authority, to that crotchety old devil declaring he has no place in my mind or marriage. (Remember he comes to kill, steal, and destroy) This means anything worth loving we better hold on to and pray over like we MEAN it.
- I prayed for wisdom, a spirit of commitment, and a lasting marriage.
- I responded to God and told him how sorry I was and how I want to love the concept of marriage and be a better wife according to Him, not society.
- I recalled movies I’ve seen or books and scriptures that speak about God’s definition of marriage and as a follower of Jesus, that is all I’m concerned with.
Ultimately, I have to be what I desire from my husband. I will do less reacting and more initiating. I am learning to go to God with my complaints and annoyances because He can change my husband faster than Jay can change himself. I’m realizing that it’s actually me that has a lot to change and to stop with the blame game. And lastly, I see that God created man and woman to live together as one because two are better than one, if one falls, the other can pick him up;
With the Holy Spirit in the center we are a strand of three cords not easily broken.
Real love, agape` love is spiritual and divine. We are only capable of so much before we start giving ultimatums, abandoning ship, and putting conditions on our relationship. I’m embracing this thing and loving it more and more each day, as well as, reflecting on what I love most about him. His loyalty and devotion is unparalleled. I’d be crazy to give that up.