Eight days ago, I posted one or two sentences and hit publish. I did not contemplate it, I wasn’t aware it was an extremely controversial topic, and I was passionate about my stance and naively assumed many moms would be as well. I posted on my main page and a neighborhood moms page.
Four days after my original post, I was still receiving feedback. The comments were divided nearly in half from those that agreed and supported my feelings and half that severely did not support it. I felt it was my responsibility to reply and engage with everyone because I opened the door for discussion so I did and I did it respectfully and appreciatively.
The problem was, it was not a real discussion. It became a cyber war of who is right and who is wrong and I was the main target. It consumed hours of multiple days and I noticed I was becoming internally defensive and stressed as I tried to explain myself clearly, but you can’t through a tiny little post. I learned a few valuable lessons from this experience and thought I would share it with you so you may avoid a Facebook war.
- Facebook war is a real term: Urban dictionary describes it as the partaking or observing a heated cyber argument on someone’s facebook wall. Usually results in one of the parties involved getting their ass beat at a party by the other people involved.
- Do not use Facebook to discuss important topics unless it is a specified group you have created and everyone in it is there to reach an understanding or if it is a cause you regularly work hard toward and for.
- Realize, a random post on your Facebook wall is just not an effective means of communication.
- Understand, many people will misinterpret, twist, and/or hide behind a post rather than pick up a phone and call you. You will be surprised by who does and potentially hurt by it.
- Do not arbitrarily post on any form of social media without knowing the topics current station (is it controversial or not).
- If you do post something on Facebook that will provoke mass commentary; respond, be courteous, and be gone. Do not let it consume you for hours and days.
- Lastly, remember that good friends are different from Facebook friends. Be reasonable about what to expect form a Facebook friend and expect that a good friend will have a real discussion with you and it won’t be through Facebook.
I have deactivated my Facebook but you can still reach me through my website, email, Instagram, and many of you have my cell. I hope this resonates with you especially if you’ve been on either side of a Facebook war. It’s sad, ineffective, and a very poor means to understand a real friends perspective. Social media is a form of communication but not always the best. I’ve learned my lesson and I think I can walk again. Ha!