My heart is calm and my burden’s light. Our episode on Shattered aired last week. Expectations are completely arbitrary when embarking on uncharted territory. Meaning, we’ve never filmed anything other than live Facebook videos and uneventful insta-stories. This was serious. The anxiety and anticipation leading up to that day was sobering.
Here is a very small glimpse of what my house looked like during my interview. I had concerns that my beautiful mom’s story would not be told accurately as we cautiously opened our mouths and heart. I’m grateful to have met this crew and to have spent precious time gathering memories of my her. Although they do this for a living, to us the experience was unique. I literally fell in love with them, especially the girls. So much that we want to jump on an airplane and go spend a few days in NYC, because why not NYC?
–I suppose it’s common to develop an attachment when working with someone on the recollection of your most painful moments ever lived-
- I just received my mom’s case file and all pertinent documents. This will really help with accurately writing specific information.
- Realizing, all of the sudden, that I have some things to work through (mind-sets, habits, strongholds, and what is really standing out to me is how I place blame to something or someone when something painful happens.
What if I couldn’t associate an event with a personal wrong doing, who would I blame?
Lets dig into that a bit
I have always needed a cause and effect for a hard situation. This occurred and it must be because I did this. In other words, I find at least one reason how the outcome could’ve been different if I would have made a different decision. Somehow, it eases my pain when I accept that fault.
Interestingly, I made a new friend who is brilliant and spiritually wise, who tends to do the opposite. She recalls her strengths that lead to the question, “Why me?” You know, I’m this and I’m that, I’ve done this, and I’m about that. So how could this happen to me?
We came to the determination that this is when people begin to blame God. So again, I am asking myself, If I’d remove the guilt off of myself would I still look for someone or something to blame or would I acknowledge what’s happening, work through it, and leave it?
May I dare to ask how YOU tend to deal with tragedy or disappointment? Which method fits you most?
- Blame Somebody or something (not necessarily negatively but always insisting something/someone could’ve prevented this)
- Reflect on great qualities about yourself and wonder how this could happen to you
- Believe everything happens for a reason and there’s nothing you could’ve done anyway
- Something altogether different
Please send me a comment as to which number you are and tell me why. Next week I’ll let share what I found out today and why I lean toward that mentality. I’ll also share other steps I’m taking to live a more peaceful, non-competitive, genuine, healed, life!